the cutest thing ever.. XDD and amazingly almost true.

		I will marry DongHae.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Bora Bora in our fabulous House.
		We will have 5 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Orange Toyota Camry.
		I will spend my days as a Lawyer, and live happily ever after.

Listening to: Promise You - Anyband
mood: nervous

I feel crazy.

I invited him to the Pops in Seoul event on July 5.
Stupid right?

Man. I feel so stupidly insane today. Maybe its because of the Love Letter episode earlier.
Anyway...

I know he knows alot about me. He knows I fangirl and he appreciates everything I do. But then, I'm afraid to show him this side of me. What am I afraid of? I don't know. His judgment maybe. His thoughts. His opinion.

I'm afraid and I dont even know why.

I think about him more than what I think.
is that a bad thing?
I think it is.

Damn. and I told myself I won't fall in love.

listening to: 사랑... 그개 문대? - 양파
mood: bored and opinionated

its my turn to speak so STFU. I don't care if you think I'm an anti fan or people who support only 13 or whatever is BS. If you're reading this and is hating it already, just close down the window and do something else. I'm supporting Super Junior because I love them. I don't care what the crap you think. Don't hate me coz I say what I want.

I know that there is this silent issue about SJH and the REAL reason why it was formed. With LSM, I'm not really surprised that much. I was actually expecting something like this. I'm not saying that music in Korea is now a propaganda movement but its so... commercialized. Well, not all maybe but when you're hooked with SME artists, you'll see.

I'm a SME Whore. Yes. I love each group/singer that SME has ever come up with. HOT, BoA, SES, The Trax, FTTS, ShinHwa, DBSG, CSJH, SuJu, SNSD, Shinee, Ri-In, you name it, I got addicted. And as much as I hate it, LSM's a genius in this playing field. He really is out to conquer the Asian market with BoA and DBSG holding the Japan market, Ri-In and Suju-M conquering the China Market, SNSD soon to conquer the Thai market and Suju-H with SNSD and Shinee conquering the Korean market.

But I'm not here to talk about SME in general. I'm here to talk about Super Junior's Subgroups and my personal opinion about these things..

Suju's subgroups started with KRY (Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Yehsung). It was created for the RnB-Ballad tunes for Hyena OST. They were created for a specific market which were the ballad lovers. And they were a big hit, mind you. They got to contribute more songs in Snowflower OST and during the 2007 Winter Album as well.

The second Subgroup is Suju-T which consists of EeTeuk, HeeChul, KangIn, ShinDong, SungMin and EunHyuk. They were created after the 2007 MKMF awards during the Don't Go Away performance where HeeChul made his comeback. Their performance was a hit, everyone loved it. So did I. Of course, with the rising popularity, LSM took the opportunity and created the subgroup for more income. They were a big hit with their single consisting of 3 songs. 1 original and 2 remakes. Rokugo, the title song, was a brilliant hit. Trot and yet, it was for the kids. Not only that Super Junior innovated the old music style, they helped the young people appreciate trot.

The third and the MOST controversial subgroup so far is SuJu-M which stands for Mandarin. Members are HanKyung, SiWon, DongHae, KyuHyun, RyeoWook and 2 new chinese members, ZhouMi and Henry. This subgroups was created for the China market which is succeeding by the way. Even if Korean and Chinese ELFs are protesting and "boycotting" this subgroup they are majorly successful with their aim: to conquer China.

The last subgroup, so far, Suju-H or Super Junior - Happy. Members are, Suju-T members minus HeeChul then add YehSung. I seriously have no explanation on why Suju-H happened or why it was created. All I know is, they're having their 15 minutes to fame right now. With their hit song, Cooking? Cooking! they're becoming popular in Korea once again.

Questions in my head?
Why was Super Junior - H created? Why did they remove HeeChul from the group and add YehSung instead? Was it really because he's busy with acting and such? Is it true what some ELFs say that SuJu-H was created to "hush up" the controversy with Suju-M and the addition of new members?

My answer: I don't know.

But I have an idea.

I believe that SuJu-H was created to hush up the ELFs' protests. Sounds kinda bad right? But its the clear truth. ELF fans are somewhat childish, we can see that. But some of them aren't that stupid. Some of them actually use their heads with this issue. Suju-M has alot of controversy in their hands. I respect and love Henry and ZhouMi, you guys know that. But, Suju-H acting as cover up is too much. I love Suju-H's music, I just don't like how their being used by SME. Its sad that HeeChul isn't part of Suju-H. I love HeeChul and if he was there, then it would have been more fun. Its even more sad that KiBum doesn't want to be part of a subgroup.

I don't like how SME can play with Super Junior.

I know Super Junior is a big liability of SME. Feeding, sheltering, clothing, travels for these 13 boys are HELLA EXPESIVE. that's why SME placed them in such a versatile position. Where they can be experimented. That's why they're still a project group. Seriously, I've been thinking about what side I'm on. Coz I think I need to pick a side. For Super Junior's sake. and I've decided to support Super Junior. and only Super Junior. I loved them as they are and I will love them as long as they're together.

Long blog post eh? XD
I never thought fangirling can get this complicated.

Mood: tired =___=
Listening to: Zhen Yang - 5566

Yes, I'm listening to 5566. again. Coz I only got to download their album on ShinDong the laptop lately and now, Angel Teuk the ipod nano vid has their songs already. XD maybe next time I'd put videos of 5566 and K-One too. XD

I am so missing my Cpop days. I mean, those first few years were so carefree and I was so young then. Actually, I was one of the youngest ones. Now, I'm so not. hahaha. I've gotten used to being the baby. Now, I have my own children. (lol XD)

I miss spazzing over Tony Sun and LiYang. I miss liking 7F when I hated them in reality. hahaha. I miss being young.

Ah..

So this is what you do once you reach 18.

Hahahaha.

But hey, I'm always 5 at heart. rofl.

Mood: Sleepy =__=
Listening to: One Love - Eunhyuk + KRY

Yesterday was, so far, the best I've ever had. Cherilyn and I finally met. We watched Sex and the City which was uber hilarious. I swear on the day you were born! hahaha. that cracked us up so bad. But it was so nice I loved the movie. But of course we had dinner first. We ate at Dulcinea and she gave me a gift which was far better than I expected. And I love her for it.
I seriously missed Cherilyn. I was telling her to come back to school yesterday coz I don't have anyone to rant and talk to. >< its so difficult.
Anyway, I had a better day. thank goodness.
Hey, its the sunshine after the rain right?

this is what I like about a blog. a real blog. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need to look for someone who's gonna care. hell, I don't care if you don't care. deal with it.

I really do feel tired. I mean, I try to be the best daughter, the best student, the best leader and the best mother. I try to be wonderwoman when I actually need my own hero in my life.

I feel like I'm falling in a bottomless pit... I can't feel the ground anymore. like walking on air where everything is just so messed up.

I just want to show someone that I treasure him. that I love him. and yet, he rejects that.

Now I feel bad.
I try to be the best.
but I guess, I'm just a failure.

You don't deserve me as your mother. I'm such a horrible person for you to treat me as your mother. It might hurt, but... I resign.

Mood: confused. :/
Listening to: the television.

Yesterday, we had lunch. and I have to admit I absolutely missed him. EVERYTHING about him. We talked like there wasn't any tomorrow. He kept on complimenting me. On how I presented myself to him. He said I look healthier. I look blooming. that I look better. I love how he compliments me coz he makes me feel so appreciated. and he never fails to make me feel that.

This is what I was exactly avoiding. falling in love all over again... I don't mean to. I don't want to. But, it just happened. He's nice to me. He always is. He appreciates me. But, I know he can't feel way I feel. Not right now. Maybe, not ever.

He loves someone else. I can see it in his eyes. Specially when we were talking about her. I can see clearly. He still loves her. No matter how stupid it might seem, I can see it. I don't have any right to get mad. I don't have the right to be jealous.

This is why I don't wanna fall in love. In the end, I'm the one who's going to get hurt. In the end, I'm the one who's going to loose him. and I don't want that to happen. I don't plan to.

I love him being a part of my life. Of getting to know the real me. I'm not shy to tell him everything. I love to tell him, I love talking to him. He understands so much of me. He appreciates so much of me.

But, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to fall for him. I'm afraid to loose him. I'm just... afraid.

I don't want it to be the JR Ang story all over again.

I love the way we are right now. But, sometimes, I want more that that.

sigh.

Might as well be friends.

Mood: pissed & tired
Listening to: A whole new world - Aladdin

Sigh. yes new blog people. AGAIN. you know me. I like to constantly move. Changing is natural isn't it? so yeah, here I am. AGAIN.

gonna post a decent blog soon, hopefully.
right now. I just want to fill the space. ;]

see me soon~ XD

Labels: blog, new