wouldn't it be nice to be happy?
I am NOT happy. nor am I amused.
I am not pissed. nor sad.
I am emotionless.
pfft. it would be nice to be happy..
but I'm terribly sick right now I'm not even in the mood to mingle or to talk to anyone at all.
sigh.
I should really kill my cousin for getting me sick.
=____=
I hate this week.
and for sure, I'll fail 2 classes this term.
I won't even get to see my other grades except online I bet.
I HATE BEING SICK!

it feels like walking in the dark.
and I can't see where I'm going.
I'm trying to hold on.
I'm trying to grasp you. look for you.
but I end up tripping and falling.
I expect you to help me up...
but instead, jiyong comes in and opens the light.
he helps me up and mends my wound.

I want to hold you.
I want to see you.
I want to love you again.
but what am I to do?
when I can only wait for you to return?

I can't call out to you.
I can't beg for you to return.
you don't even know me.
you don't even know what you do to me.

I don't want to cry.
but what am I to do?
it still feels like walking in the dark.
if I open the light on my own, will you be there?
If I open the door, will you stand there?

Seriously addicted.
and its scary.
but I love TaeYang's 나만 바라봐
hahaha.
I also like GD's version but its so angsty.

나만 바라봐


하루에도 몇 번씩 널 보며 웃어 난
수 백 번 말했잖아 You're the love of my life
거짓된 세상 속 불안한 내 맘속
오직 나 믿는 건 너 하나 뿐이라고
가끔 내 맘 변할까 봐 불안해할 때면
웃으며 말했잖아 그럴 일 없다고
끝없는 방황 속 텅 빈 내 가슴속
내가 기댈 곳은 너 하나뿐 이지만
가끔씩 흔들리는 내 자신이 미워
오늘도 난 이세상에 휩쓸려 살며시 널 지워

내가 바람 펴도 너는 절대 피지마 Baby
나는 너를 잊어도 넌 나를 잊지마 Lady
가끔 내가 연락이 없고 술을 마셔도
혹시 내가 다른 어떤 여자와
잠시 눈을 맞춰도 넌 나만 바라봐

오늘밤도 지새며 날 기다렸다고
눈물로 내게 말해 변한 것 같다고
널 향한 내 맘도 처음과 같다고
수없이 달래며 지내온 많은 밤들
니가 없이는 난 너무 힘들 것 같지만
때론 너로 인해 숨이 막혀 난
끝없는 다툼 속 기나긴 한숨 속
니가 기댈 곳은 나 하나뿐 이지만

니가 귀찮아지는 내 자신이 미워
오늘도 난 웃으며 나도 몰래 자신을 잃어

내가 바람 펴도 너는 절대 피지마 Baby
나는 너를 잊어도 넌 나를 잊지마 Lady
가끔 내가 연락이 없고 술을 마셔도
혹시 내가 다른 어떤 여자와
잠시 눈을 맞춰도 넌 나만 바라봐

내가 이기적이란 걸 난 너무 잘 알아
난 매일 무의미한 시간 속에
이렇게 더럽혀지지만 BABY
너만은 언제나 순수하게 남길 바래
이게 내 진심인걸 널 향한 믿음인걸
죽어도 날 떠나지마

내가 바람 펴도 너는 절대 피지마 Baby
나는 너를 잊어도 넌 나를 잊지마 Lady
가끔 내가 연락이 없고 술을 마셔도
혹시 내가 다른 어떤 여자와
잠시 눈을 맞춰도 넌 나만 바라봐

I think I went insane the last time.
sigh.

I feel so confused lately.
my heart is wavering.
it sounds bad doesn't it?
I think I'm falling out of love with DongHae.
and I'm scared.

I'm scared of this change.
I know it would happen sooner or later
but I didn't want it to be this soon.
GAWD.
Or maybe I'm just being insane again.
JiYong's taking all of me right now.
well, coz he's really visible lately.
With the comeback and the MV and the album.
and DongHae..
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL HE IS.
HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING ME HAPPY.

And to my special someone,
I know you might be mad or disappointed at me right now.
I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I'm sure you know I didn't mean that.
My emotions took control of me.
I was hurt.
I was tired.

I sure do hope you understand.
I'm sorry love.
Forgive me?

yes, AGAIN.
and I'm fucking tired of this shit happening.
if they wanna fight, then I won't care anymore.
if they wanna split up, I don't fucking care.
They're adults. they know what the fuck they're fucking doing with their lives.
I hate how they do that all the time.
Don't they know they have kids?
and they have a kid who fucking didn't want to be in this position?
who fucking didn't ask for any of these.



I just wanna be heard.
I just want to be loved.
I don't want this. I never asked for it.
if HE really exist. if HE really loves us?
why does HE give us shit?



and this is why my faith is destroyed.
plus the fucking fact that I might die any second.
thanks. if you're really there.
THANKS FOR FUCKING CARING.



why don't I just slit my throat.
and get it over with eh?

Once again, you never fail to disappoint me.
hahaha.
this happened not so long ago too.
And yet, you disappoint me again.
Yes, this is, yet again, shallow. forgive me for that.
But yes, I am disappointed with you.

Maybe I should just really stop.
because if I don't stop myself.
I'll end up getting mad at you.
and I don't want that.
I hope you don't too.

I don't know why you're doing this.
but I hope you'll realize how I feel again.
I hope you'll know.
No, I'm not telling anyone about this again.
Nevermind, I'm done playing games..
Figure it out for yourself.

DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
yeahh I would gladly die if I get to meet hae
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahahahahaha~ xD
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
really. XDD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
lol. you cant die yet D:
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hae will cry~
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
and your baby hae will be momless
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
xD
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
awwwwe~ X3
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
that made me seriously smile.
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahahaha xD
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
lol. our baby hae.. X3
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
lol
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
that sounds cute xD
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
awwwwe~ I'm giggling. DDDDD:
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
this will definitely go on my blog. XDDDD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahahahahah xD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
O:
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
i will be laughing at myself
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
lol
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
hahahaha~! I laugh at myself too.
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahahahaha xD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
it's just fun 'o'
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
yeahhh~ waaaaah! omg. I really want a baby hae. hhahaha. if I get pregnant I'll stare at donghae's picture.
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAH~
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
wtf man xD
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
I wish when he goes out, he'll look like hae.
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
yes *-*
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
hahaha.
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
that baby hae thing made my night
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
lol
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
sexy baby hae xD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
i can see it now *-*
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
flirtatious 5 year old
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahaha
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
woot! XD
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
if only I can flirt with my kid. XD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
LMAO xD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
that would be so wrong
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
I KNOW!
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
hahahaha
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahahaha xD
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
if baby hae was flirting at 5. I'mma hit donghae twice XD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahahaha xD
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
because donghae was probably flirting at 5 too? xp
DonnaHae;PWNAGE :: THESIS says:
nope. he's a wimp.
13 // s o r a ★ vampire of the toilet says:
hahahaha xD



weeee~
I love SORA~!