Mood: confused. :/
Listening to: the television.

Yesterday, we had lunch. and I have to admit I absolutely missed him. EVERYTHING about him. We talked like there wasn't any tomorrow. He kept on complimenting me. On how I presented myself to him. He said I look healthier. I look blooming. that I look better. I love how he compliments me coz he makes me feel so appreciated. and he never fails to make me feel that.

This is what I was exactly avoiding. falling in love all over again... I don't mean to. I don't want to. But, it just happened. He's nice to me. He always is. He appreciates me. But, I know he can't feel way I feel. Not right now. Maybe, not ever.

He loves someone else. I can see it in his eyes. Specially when we were talking about her. I can see clearly. He still loves her. No matter how stupid it might seem, I can see it. I don't have any right to get mad. I don't have the right to be jealous.

This is why I don't wanna fall in love. In the end, I'm the one who's going to get hurt. In the end, I'm the one who's going to loose him. and I don't want that to happen. I don't plan to.

I love him being a part of my life. Of getting to know the real me. I'm not shy to tell him everything. I love to tell him, I love talking to him. He understands so much of me. He appreciates so much of me.

But, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to fall for him. I'm afraid to loose him. I'm just... afraid.

I don't want it to be the JR Ang story all over again.

I love the way we are right now. But, sometimes, I want more that that.

sigh.

Might as well be friends.